#3 Life isn't supposed to Suck?

Have you ever walked by a big display of basketballs? If you have you know that there is a need to pick one up and bounce it, you just have to. What would happen if you picked up one and nobody took the time to fill it full of air? So on the front side it looked perfect but on the back side it was sunken in. What would to say? You’d say, " boy that sucks". Pun intended.

So question 3 is: Is it fair for life not to suck?

Yesterday I was moving a lot of accumulated, not my stuff, stuff into our basement. It took two of us to carry this one particularly heavy piece of stuff. As I came around the the corner of the stairs my path was blocked by a large empty, not my box, box. This box had taken up residence in the family room having birthed its contents about two weeks before. So as I come around the corner, backwards with a very heavy, completely full cedar chest, my back aching, ready to drop the chest at any moment, in a moment of weakness, I kicked the “Blasted” thing out of my way. That of course only put it more in my way and I had to kick it again. With the second kick (or maybe the first) I said, “THAT (short pause (remember the chest was heavy and all my air was needed for survival)) BOX”. WOW, talk about an eye roller. An un-uttered gasp resonated throughout the now silent basement. As sure as night follows day a moment of weakness was now etched into the family memory banks. A story sure to be repeated time and again at gatherings for the next two generations. "Remember the time Dad......."

Now, I’m a parent and parents, I guess, aren’t supposed to ever have one side of them sucked in. We are always supposed to have a perfect bounce each and every time. Is that fair? Sometime when I’ve had all the life sucked out of me I’d like it to show. “Hey, Everybody. I’ve been squished real good.” “ya man you are like totally flat. Where’d all your air go?” Now I'm not saying that this was one of those times mind you. I've had worse times. But just once in a while When I feel flat I'd like it to look flat and act flat.

But I guess that’s what being a parent is all about. When life sucks you can’t let it show you just keep on bouncing.

# 2 OK - Butt

So what's up with kids today? I got home from work today and found my daughter discussing her butt with my wife. That's right her butt. "Mom how does my butt look in these pants?" "What about now?" She had just done some stretching and wiggling and it was time to check again. Then it was a trip to the bathroom to put some water on the new jeans. "Is the wrinkle mark gone", she asked?

This must be the height of vanity. So she finally got everything just right and said, "I can wear these anywhere and have the hottest butt around". All I could think is Duh.

My daughter is very pretty without her new $200.00 jeans so if some guy is checking out her jeans as a way to sort out who to date or if he even cares about the type and style of her jeans as a prerequisite for getting to know her doesn't that mean the guy is shallow and a major league loser? So today's question is: Why date losers? Why not look normal (less hot) to weed out the shallow Hal's in this world and find the guys that are looking for more in a girl than a non wrinkled butt?

Question 1

Here's one:

• So what about getting older? This is the best time of life. The kids are grown. They have moved out and started there own families. No wait, they moved back. Ya but then they moved out again. No wait, they all moved back again all but one that is. But seriously having the kids at home is good. In fact every night when my wife an I go walking we talk about how good it is to have them back. Yep, on those long walks when we're out of the house, all by our selves, all alone, just the two of us, when we can say what ever we want, when there is nobody else to worry about, while just the two of are walking, all alone, stopping to visit the neighbors prolonging the walk, we often say how good it is to have them back. On those nice long walks.